No Picks and Favors

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According to the dictionary, favorite means “preferred before all others of the same kind.” It can even serve as a trademark. Despite being a personal choice, however, a favorite is never purely personal—it can be shaped by culture, nostalgia, and lived experiences.

As children, we often get to know others by asking about their favorites:

What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite food? Who’s your favorite hero or cartoon character?

It was a simple way to see if we had something in common, to know what gift might make them happy, or sometimes even to judge their personality.

But as I grew older, I found it difficult to answer. Maybe I’m indecisive. Maybe I don’t fully know myself yet. To avoid explaining, I often just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

Favorites can be limiting. They tell us that one thing is better than another, when in truth, nothing is the “best” at everything. Teresa Kenny once wrote:

“We’ve all suffered from it and we’ve all done it to some degree in our lives. Not everyone can be the best or most liked or be everything to all people all the time. Anytime we put one person before another person we are showing favoritism.”

I don’t have a favorite color. Sometimes I feel as passionate and romantic as red, other times as grounded and responsible as brown. I can be as lively as green, or as bright as yellow. No single color can ever represent me fully.

The same is true for seasons, phases, and weather. None truly stands out above the rest—yet all matter in their own unique way.

Instead of ranking things as favorites, why not think of them as best in context?

  • A certain movie is best when I want to think critically.

  • Another is best when I just want to relax.

  • Some are best to rewatch endlessly for comfort.

    The same with colors: I choose palettes that fit a season, occasion, or theme.


This way of thinking—not needing to crown one “favorite”—has helped me as an educator. In the classroom, favoritism creates imbalance and injustice. Each student has their own individuality, strengths, and needs. My role is not to rank them, but to understand them. To give each one a space where they can be their best—without comparison, without favoritism.


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